First True Long Term placement

Oh wow! I knew I had not updated anything in a while but I didn’t realize that it had been 6 months. Life has been such a whirlwind of activity and emotions that I pretty much could not bring myself to sit down and put it into words… So how about an update now? We were officially licensed in mid-March. The day after our license went through, we had 2 children placed with us (a 2 year old and a 6 week old). The children were with us for about a week until we got a call out of the blue saying, “Thank you for your help, but we will be moving the kids as of tomorrow.” Turns out they had found family. I was sad to see them go, but I am glad they went on to be with family. Since those kids left, I felt like we had moments when we could hear crickets and then other moments where our phone/email was going off like crazy with proposed cases. It seemed like no matter how many cases we said we would take, they all fell through for one reason or another. That was until…

A little over 3 weeks ago we were contacted about doing a respite stay (basically baby sitting) for a 3-year-old little guy (M) while his foster family went out of town. The day after we agreed to take him on for a few days for respite, we learned that the foster home had decided to close their home, meaning all the foster kids had to move, and since we were already lined up to do respite, it was decided that M would go ahead and come our way for the respite stay and we could use the respite time to figure out if we were the right home for him to be in as a long term placement. Part of us wanted to jump at the possibility of having a child placed in our home. However, considering the fact that his case was really new, and the current goal was reunification (returning home), and our desire to adopt we were not sure what would be best. The next day (the day before picking M up for respite), we were contacted by our agency and we were informed that we had been selected on the case of 2 legally free brothers. This meant that there was a 1 in 3 chance that we could be chosen as their forever home. At this news we felt that it was a sign from God that we were meant to wait and not accept M as a long-term placement. The next morning I went and picked up M for his respite stay and almost immediately everything just felt natural and a part of me wanted to say right then and there that, no matter the outcome, I wanted to keep him as a placement. However, that evening we were contacted and informed that we had been selected for yet another case. This time the case was for a single legally free child. So yet again we felt it was God saying “Just wait. I have great things in store for you.” The bad thing about being selected for these 2 cases, on top of having M as a respite case, is that, for various reasons, we had to choose between M or one of these cases and we couldn’t really accept him as a placement on top of one of the cases, assuming we were chosen as “the family” for either one of the cases (this is not always the case but wouldn’t you know that we would be the ones to fall into the weird “out of the norm” situation lol). However, to make the situation even more difficult, a respite stay can only last for 14 days but the meetings to decide which family was “the family” for these cases were 19 days after he came our way. In the end we ended up petitioning and getting permission for him to stay another week with us so that we could know the outcome of the legally free cases before making a call on M’s. To say that this situation was heart wrenching would pretty much be an understatement. There were several times that I would be sitting on the couch watching him playing and I would start crying as I prayed “Lord, thank you for sending M into our lives. Thank you for all that you have given us and done for us. However, I come to you right now asking and begging for guidance. Lord, I have fallen in love with this little guy and I do not want to have to make him move on to another home. However, I truly do not know what to do. Lord, PLEASE make your plan clear.” After days of praying and dealing with all the “what ifs” I feel God finally did make His plan clear and He did it in a way that was crystal clear. In the end, we were not selected for either one of the legally free cases. Some would think this would be heart breaking to have such a sure thing of adoption slip between our fingers. However, I truly did nothing but celebrate as we informed the agency that we would be more than happy to take M as a long-term placement.

So that brings us to where we are now. Lindsay and I now officially have M placed with us. His foster placement papers were signed today. His case still has a lot of unknowns, and he still has the goal of reunification, so there is still a chance that he will move on. However, I take comfort that the possibility of him moving on is no longer solely in our hands. At this point if he moves on it will be because God chose to lead the individuals involved in his case to make that call. At this point we have no intention of “putting in notice” and making him move yet again. This little guy is with us for the long haul, wherever that haul leads to. I ask that you all join me in continuing to pray that God’s will be done in M’s life as well as every other child in care. I will not lie and say that I do not hope and pray that M stays with us forever. However, I am not going to try and make anything happen that is not His will. Therefore, I will continue to make the choice to place this all in His hands fully so that His will is done. After all that has happened in my life I know that the things he has planned is far greater than anything I could plan myself.